Fix You
by iDisco
Summary: Red and Liz go on vacation and spend some time on his Catamaran. Inspired by The Blacklist Comic Issue #1 and Coldplay's "Fix You". Lizzington. Rating will change at some point.
1. Chapter 1

**Here's the first chapter to my new ff, including UST and it will take some time until it'll be resolved but it definitely will at some point but before they have do get closer to one another and some secrets have to be revealed. (Scars etc.) I don't know yet how long it will take since I haven't exactly figured out how they will get there.**

 **Let me know if you're interested or not.**

 **Disclaimed: I don't own the blacklist or its characters but I treat them with respect.**

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His jet landed on time in Rio. He was partly worried about Lizzie's state of mind and partly thrilled to spend the next few days with her together again. He put so much effort into bringing down the Director and getting her back to him but eventually he succeeded. She wasn't exonerated but things were heading into the right direction. She looked exactly like he felt, exhausted from the recent weeks and he found himself surprised as she asked him if they could spend a few quiet days on his Catamaran. How could he deny her? He offered her to take her away before but their relationship hadn't had a solid ground back then. She didn't trust him, she didn't know him like she did now.

How far they had come.

He reached for their bags and lead her down the stairs before he put their belongings in the trunk of his car. After sliding on his sunglasses, he started the engine and gave her a sideglance. "You alright?"

"Yeah, just tired. I don't understand how you handle the different time zones."

"You'll get used to it, or it's just my persona. I think I can never fully relax."

"Because you're afraid?"

He blinked in her direction, contemplating his answer before he focused on the road ahead. "I don't know.", he pondered. "I'm having odd sleeping habits since I was a young man but I never gave it much thought to be frank."

"I can't remember when I last had a peaceful night. That was my last thought last night but I didn't come up with an answer."

"Most likely the night before I surrendered perhaps?"

A new rush of guilt filled his stomach. He blamed himself for the misery that had entered and changed her life so drastically. He maneuvered the car through the center of the city, keeping his gaze everywhere but her, because he was very much afraid of her answer.

"No. Tom and I fought that evening about the adoption agency. He was so persistent on adopting a child. I was about to start my career and he kept pushing me for months until I gave in.", she sighted. "Thinking about it now, I don't understand how I could miss that he manipulated me all the time. I'm a profiler and yet I failed to profile my fake husband."

He listened but didn't say anything. The car stopped at a red light and he turned to her, his head cocked to the side. Tom was also his fault and this man was trained in manipulation. Hell, Tom was probably better than him and he considered himself quite an expert. He wanted to comfort her, emotionally and physically, taking her small hand in his as if this would heal her somehow but the vehicles before them moved and so the opportunity for contact slipped through his fingers. "The profile you've given me was fitting. Every aspect was spot on.", he admitted in a breathy voice.

"Does that mean you still hate yourself, because you need me?"

His breath caught in his throat and he felt his insides constricting. One hand left the wheel, pointing to the harbor at the far end of the street. "We're almost there.", he tried to distract her. "I was surprised when you asked me to take you sailing but you picked a wonderful time to do so, Lizzie. This catamaran is a brand new model I just bought and haven't seen, yet. I went for a more modern interior design."

She leaned her head against the window and closed her eyes. He wished he could have told her how he felt but how was he supposed to described something he didn't understand himself.

He parked the car and smiled apologetically. This wasn't how he wanted their little vacation to start, in fact he had no interest in talking about him in general. Opening up to another person had always been an issue for him and he didn't believe he could bear the look of sympathy in her eyes if she knew who he really was.

They walked down the shore, the silence between them anything but comfortable. Every time their relationship progressed a bit, two steps back followed immediately afterwards and he was aware why it was that way. His reticence prevented them from moving on. If he wouldn't open up, neither would she.

"Does she have a name already?", she asked as they arrived at his boat, her eyes roaming over the catamaran.

"Lizzie."

Her brows rose as her eyes grew wide and he watched her body tensing. He found an off guard Lizzie to be utterly endearing. "Just kidding. Now let's go!"

He went aboard first, placing their bags safely next to him before he grasped her hand and gently helped her. Together they ascended the stairs to the deck. The space was generous and the several seating areas luxurious. His eyes fell to the spa pool that was surrounded by a lounge seat before moving to the large dining table in front of the wall to ceiling windows. Risking a side glance to Lizzie, he was relieved that she seemed to like what would be their home for some time. He moved inside first and slid out of his jacket, hanging it over an armchair before rolling up his sleeves and taking a glimpse in the fridge. He planned on cooking for her after taking his boat out on the ocean.

"Where's my bedroom? I'd like to change into some more comfortable clothes.", came her question from behind him.

"There are two master bedrooms ahead; pick one you like and I go with the other one."

He waited until she'd chosen her room until he went to his own to change into a navy Polo shirt and khaki bermudas. As he walked out of his room, he heard the shower run in hers which was next to his. He pondered if he should ask her to hurry since he wanted to dine with her before the sunset. Throwing all caution into the wind, he knocked twice, waiting for her to reply what she didn't. Opening the door just a bit he sneaked only his head inside and called out her name. He was short before leaving when, suddenly, she came out of the bathroom with only a towel around her torso that also barely covered her upper legs. She looked at him in a questioning way, her head tilted, water dripping down from her hair onto the walnut wood flooring.

What did he want to ask her again?

The sudden dryness in his throat caused him to swallow hard while he tried to arrange the chaos in his brain. He shook his head and averted his gaze just over her shoulder. Raising his brows and ignoring the thunder in his chest, he finally got the words out of his mouth. "We're gonna set sail in about 5 minutes but I see you are..." He breathed in in a quiet hiss as her towel slipped just a little, giving him a glimpse of her neckline before she caught the fabric and pulled it up again. Well, his composure around her slipped also and he cursed himself for only looking at her the way he did. "Uhm, feel free to join me when you're finished."

"Alright."

"Alright."

A wistful smile grazed her lips while he still stood in the door, his fingers tightly holding onto the knob. "Red?", she asked.

"Hmm?"

"I'd like to get dressed so if you..."

He nodded quickly. "Of course." Shutting the door behind him, he ran his palm down his face. He should have taken her to Greenland, or Iceland, a country in which she would show less skin, because as for now, he wasn't sure if he could handle himself in such a close surroundings without making a fool of himself.

Tbc...Reviews and opinions are appreciated :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow, thanks for all your reviews and favs and follows. I'm glad you enjoyed the first chapter and hope you will enjoy the second as well.**

 **Disclaimed: I own nothing and make no money with FF.**

 **Unbetaed so all mistakes are**

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Red and Liz departed shortly after she joined him. He navigated the boat smoothly out of the harbor. The afternoon breeze filled the sails, maneuvering them evenly towards their destination. He loved the open sea, its crystal clear water and the air that smelled fresher. His senses were on altert but he was at ease. He was with Lizzie and they were safe. It couldn't be better than that.

Straightening his straw hat, he turned, finding Lizzie curled up on a lounge seat with a book in one hand and a pencil in the other. If she judged him for his babbling earlier on, she didn't show it as she came on the cabin deck. The hot pants she chose to wear gave him more to look at than when he saw her in the towel and so did the red top that revealed quite a lot of her back and the perfect line of her spine.

To him, Lizzie was a piece of art; something precious and fragile that could never ruin his appetite from just looking at it. She inspired him, she made him creative and dream of things he would not get.

Art was a part of fiction and not meant to be lived out.

He set the anchor at a little bay which was close to a reef that he was dying to show Lizzie. Rio's skyline was blurry in the distance and the hecticness sealed up in the back of his mind. The sun started to set, turning its color from bright yellow to a soft and calming orange that was beautifully mirrored in the quiet ocean. It was just Lizzie and him.

He had to remind himself on that one in order to get it into his skull.

Lizzie and him. Alone. For days.

A rumble in his stomach brought him back to his senses so he stood up and padded over to Lizzie who closed her book as soon as he approached her. He was a little saddened by the fact that he didn't get a glimpse on her drawing since he wasn't aware of her interest in art.

But he'd take what she gave.

As he was only a few inches away from her, he smiled wryly. "I'm gonna make dinner. I hope you're hungry."

"Famished.", she replied and drew a hand through her hair before pushing herself up. "I'll help you."

"You don't have to."

"But I want to, so what's on the menu?"

"I thought we could go with a salad and steak. It's from an associate who owns farm only 20 miles from Rio. He's also a gifted winemaker and I happen to have our wine racks stocked with a few bottles."

A quiet laugh escaped her as she followed him to the kitchen. He took off his sunglasses and quirked a brow in confusion. "Sorry, it's just... nevermind.", she waved him off with a smile.

"Oh, I guess I have the right to know why you're laughing since you're laughing at me." He handed her a knife and a cutting board. "Here, chop some onions!"

"Not exactly laughing at you; more at your choice of clothing. I've never seen you in shorts and sneakers. It's oddly funny, I'm sorry."

She was still smiling, all teeth and dimples which he so adored. He started to get the meat ready after he looked down his legs. "Would you rather see me wearing one of my suits?"

"No, I think I might like Bermudas-Red."

"You don't know 'Bermudas-Red'.", he countered in an amused voice as they worked on opposite sites of the counter.

"The surface impression of him was positive though. I'm sure he and I could go along nicely."

Her eyes sought out his from under her eyelashes, her tone playful. If she was another woman; someone he had no history with, he'd have sworn that she was flirting with him but he wasn't so sure about Lizzie so he simply smiled and continued with his work.

If only he could let go of her words. They did go along nicely; Bermudas or suits, that didn't matter. He told her once they would make a great team and they were, even if more like Yin and Yang, or light and darkness, in conducting his business, chasing blacklister and in the kitchen. In some cases opposites attract but he enjoyed the domestic moments the most.

He fried the steaks while Lizzie finished the salad. It was still warm so they ate outside, and he told her another story about the farmer and him as he taught him how to make wine. He cleaned the table after they finished their meal and poured a nightcap for both of them before he reentered the deck and sat beside her on the lounge seats.

Again, she closed the pad as he came closer. Well, she said Bermudas - Red and her would go along well so he could ask her about the content. He sipped his scotch, his eyes set upon the starry night sky and his mind drifted off to the night they spent in the shipping container.

"I didn't know you draw.", he spoke but his voice sounded far away to his own ears.

"I did in High School but at some point it wasn't satisfying anymore until - until my psychiatrist advised to get certain events out of my system by drawing."

"You could have come to me.", he said softly.

"I can't."

He turned towards her, resting his elbow on the edge of the seat, and studied her profile. He thought she'd stopped seeing the doctor but he was obviously wrong. Of course she couldn't come to him. He expected that but it hurt so much to hear those words. He wanted to be the only person she trusted but instead he was the only person she had trust issues with. Hell, even Tom she trusted more even though he brought nothing but pain in her life.

Right now, he wanted the lightness from earlier back. He wanted to tell her another story and he wanted to learn something new about her. He wanted everything except for the secrecy that complicated their relationship since the beginning.

He only wanted to help her.

"I'm sorry, Lizzie!", he said quietly and was prepared for a rejection, anger but he wasn't prepared for confusion.

"What are you sorry about?"

His brows were knitted together and he shook his head from side to side in bewilderment. "For the trouble I've caused, for Tom, for everything you cannot have."

"You can't blame yourself for everything bad in my life.", she clarified, taking a large sip and setting down the glass. "You may are responsible for a lot of things including Tom's involvement in my life but I fell for him, I married him and even when I knew who he was, I wasn't able to let him go. I felt so alone and I missed the familiarity. My husband turned out to be a fraud and suddenly my house; gone, my husband; gone, my dog; gone and my father; also gone.", she breathed out a quivering breath and swallowed before her phone buzzed that laid between them.

'Speak of the devil', he thought while emptying his drink and placing the tumbler aside on the ground. He watched her picking up the phone and how her thumb hovered over the keypad. Clenching his jaw, he gave his very best not to tell her not to answer the call. Her cell kept vibrating as she turned to him again. "You have another burner close, haven't you?"

He nodded and smiled as she threw the device straight overboard and heard a distant 'plop' when it disappeared in the ocean. He couldn't be happier about that but remained neutral in his expression.

"I wish he'd have stayed on his boat. I just want to be alone.", she said in a strained tone that tugged at his heartstrings.

He shuffled closer and pulled her head on his shoulder, nuzzling her hairline with his nose before he dropped a chaste kiss onto her forehead. She sighted against him and wrapped her arm around his waist. "I finally realized that my future doesn't include Tom, because he doesn't exist. He never did and I want to move on but that doesn't work if he is still in my life."

"If he truly loves you as much as he claims he does, he will respect your wish and leave for good." _'If not, I'd kill him in an instant.",_ he added in his mind.

"I spent the night before I shot Connolly with him. We just lost Andropov and he was there and offered me a way out. I wanted to leave with him, and if I hadn't found out about Cooper, I might be..."

He tightened his grip on her and listened. Her revelation was not a surprise and yet it felt like a betrayal. His eyes fluttered shut and he leaned his chin on top of her head. "But you are not. You're here, with me.", he breathed into her hair and he could feel her shudder as he drew small circles on her shoulderblade with his thumb.

"I never thought that would happen."

"And yet here we are."

She untangled herself off him and put some distance between them. Her cheeks were tear streaked, an expression he was accustomed to and deepened his inner battle the more he had to witness it. "I think it's better to call it a night."

"Goodnight Lizzie."

She squeezed his shoulder. "Thank you, Red! For everything."

"You're welcome!", he replied, remembering what she told him after the Kings auction. Moreover, he didn't come up with a better reply. She surely wouldn't accept anything else.

He lit a cigar when he was alone and replayed the conversation over and over in his head. Lizzie progressed slowly, at least she didn't want him anymore but if Tom wasn't the main issue in her life; then what was causing her so much trouble. It couldn't be only her status as a fugitive since she saw the psychiatrist since Meera's death.

He shifted and felt a pinch at his back. Reaching behind, he held her pad in his hand. A tiny look inside would give him the answer he was seeking. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the lights in the saloon were out so she was already in bed. It would have been a invasion of her privacy and he felt filthy just thinking about it but it was for her well being.

He wanted to help her and he couldn't do that if he didn't know the source.

Puffing out a line of smoke, he put the cigar in a ashtray nearby and opened the first page. He noticed two things. Firstly, Lizzie was incredibly talented and secondly, the image before him was familiar and flashbacks flooded his brain.

Tiles beneath his knees and a gun pointed to the back of his head. One word was written across the page.

 _Lizzie_

Tbc...Please R&R! :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks again for your responses. I'm relieved you like this story so far and I have a lot of fun writing it.**

 **I own nothing**

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His near death was the reason for her trouble. Off all the things he hadn't anticipated that. She went through much was worse; the abduction by Luther Braxton and the Deer Hunter, she almost went to jail for a murder she didn't committed but she couldn't forget that he almost died. He should have died and maybe her life would be better without him in it.

Strike the 'maybe'. It certainly would be better.

Five simple letters; her name. _Lizzie,_ not _Elizabeth._ She wasn't supposed to hear that and he didn't want her to see him so vulnerable. She would always be her first and last thought. Some routines would never change but now that she knew, he placed unnecessary weight onto her shoulders. She cared; that was too much and made him bitter but what if she'd fall for him? Beauty fell for the Beast and changed him for the better.

He enjoyed a good story but he didn't believe in fairytales.

With his golden pen in hand, he hovered over a crossword puzzle in which he currently had no interest in since his mind was occupied to figure out how to talk to Lizzie without her knowing that he snooped around. He should tell her the truth; plain and simple. She'd be disappointed and hurt but these are feelings he was familiar with. He had a problem to deal with her when she was comfortable around him though.

With his Lizzie was nothing wrong; with him on the other hand -

"Hey."

He looked up and leaned back in his chair, neatly folding the newspaper. "Good morning, Lizzie.", he greeted enthusiastically and reached for a mug. "Please sit and have a bite. I recommend these pineapples. They are perfectly ripe." He handed over her coffee and tilted his head when she she let out a tired sigh. "Your good mood in the morning can be annoying, you know that, right?"

"Have some pineapple!", he repeated with a nod to the plate. While they'd been moving from place to place he didn't get the chance to share a quiet breakfast with her, let alone witnessing her terrible mood in the morning.

It was heaven.

"Oh my god, if you insist.", she groaned and grabbed a piece between her thumb and forefinger.

His breathy chuckle died in his throat as her mellifluous lips closed around the fruit. He couldn't put his finger on it whether it was the way the juice dripped down on her hand or the sudden, pleased hum that escaped her while she chewed with her eyes closed. It was the first time he imagined to kiss her, wanting to learn her taste mixed with the sweet nectar of the pineapple she'd just eaten. If she tasted as exquisite as she smelled, he would devour her whole.

He crossed his legs beneath the table and breathed out quietly while his eyes were still fixated on Lizzie. He should stop looking at her but he couldn't, no matter the situation she left him wanting more.

The more he knew about her, the more he felt, and the more he saw, the more he yearned to touch her.

"Okay, you were right. These are really good.", she said in between bites. "But you're spoiling me too much, Red. I may not want to leave anymore when you keep making me breakfast."

By everything he held most dear, he would do everything she wanted if it would guarantee that she stayed. He didn't trust his voice to conceal how heavily influenced he was by her so he nodded briefly and reached blindly for his crossword puzzle.

"Is everything okay?", she asked then.

Once more, he only nodded and felt his ears burning in embarrassment at his body's reaction. He had to get a grip of himself and needed to get out of there for five minutes but he was spellbound and the noose around his neck tightened when she nonchalantly licked the juice off of her fingers, releasing each of them with a delicate smack.

He was going to combust and land in hell.

Pushing back the chair and covering the growing 'situation' with his newspaper, he stood and cleared his throat before speaking up. "Ye- Yes, I hope you don't mind if I go outside. It's a beautiful day and it'd be a shame if we don't take advantage of our limited time."

"Okay.", she answered with a puzzled look.

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He didn't turn around after he exited the living room and took a few well needed calming breaths until the regained control of himself. The newspaper landed on the table before took his chessboard and descended the stairs to the stern. They were together for not even 24 hours and his mind was already playing tricks on him. If Sam saw them from above, he was certain his dear friend would pay him a visit in hell only to kill him all over again.

He sat on the ground, barefoot with one foot in the water and the other bent up as he put the pieces on the board. It has been some time since he'd last played. He enjoyed strategy games in order to keep his mind healthy and occupied even though he played always alone what didn't bother him. Dembe wasn't a fan of chess so he occasionally played against his associates.

As his gaze was set upon the board before him, he missed the moment she accompanied him. That changed, however, when a pair legs invaded his vision, causing him to look up rather quickly than slowly. She flopped down on the other side and placed a water bottle beside the chessboard before shyly dipping her toes into the water while she leaned onto her forearms. He rolled the white king between his fingers and chewed the inside of his cheeks.

"Do you know how to play?", he asked in his baritone voice and already put the pieces back on their starting point.

"It's been some time."

"Are you up for a match?"

"Sure." She shrugged and shifted into a more comfortable position.

He turned the board so that Lizzie would play white and had to make the first move. "Have I ever told you how I met the current chess world champion even before he was internationally known?"

She moved her pawn, snorting. "You haven't but I'm actually not surprised you know him."

"He tried to teach me a few moves but I couldn't compete with him. While we'd been stuck in the middle game he had already planned his endgame. He did best me so many times that I almost lost interest in chess.", he explained and mirrored her first move.

"Oh, come on, Red. I never took you for a bad loser."

"Tell me one person who takes pleasure in losing! In my life, sometimes, winning equals survival and humans want to survive. That's proven by Darwins 'Survival of the fittest' theory."

"This is not wizard's chess."

"Wizard's what?", he asked as he finished his move.

"Ah, forget it! Doesn't matter."

"As you wish." He crocked his head and tried to anticipate her next moves. She had a slight advantage as her pieces controlled the center. He would take out each piece methodically and sacrifice invaluable pieces. She knew that he was a Chessmaster. He played people, created different strategies and the outcome had always been to his advantage.

Soon, he had taken off her bishop and a knight as well as a few pawns while he was still in possession of all his knights. It was her move and he watched her worrying her lower lip with her teeth, her brows wrinkled as she glanced over the board.

"What's you favorite piece?", he asked.

"If you're trying to distract me, let me tell you, it doesn't work."

"From where u see it, it looks like distraction isn't necessary.", he smirked smugly.

"Very humble and down to earth, Red." She screwed open the water bottle. "But since we are at it, tell me yours!"

"I don't have a favorite in particular. Each piece has value but I do like pawns, because they are underestimated by casual players. For them, pawns are nothing more than nameless figures but a well thought through pawn strategy is essential for the middle game. They are brave foot soldiers and can become a queen. Even if they appear powerless, they are not.", he said and observed her next move with a raised brow.

"I thought you'd be more fond of the queen."

"It's the most versatile and unpredictable piece but ultimately her strength becomes her weakness as soon as she's threatened. By protecting your most powerful figure, you might uncover your king. I find this moment when I'm put in check and my queen takes out another piece to protect him utterly romantic and heroic." He pursed his lips and shrugged. "A king is nothing without his queen."

Lizzie stared back at him, her lips slightly parted and all in all a little clueless, or so it seemed for him at least. Sometimes their conversation was so full of subtext that even he had problems to follow but this was as clear as the water around them. Surely, he could tell her certain things straight out but there wouldn't be much finesse in it. He didn't want to be someone who simply said that she was important to him, because she was more than that.

Much to his dismay, every time he revealed himself to her and showed his vulnerable side, she would do the exact opposite and ignore him completely. It would have been easier to break into Fort Knox than to tumble down the walls she had build up around her so it wasn't surprising that they spent the rest of the time in quietness until a delightful little giggle filled the silence that caused him to look up for a brusque moment.

"Checkmate!", she exclaimed rather proudly, moving her queen.

Most versatile and powerful piece, indeed.

Pouting, he studied the board, taking off his sunglasses and breathed out a chuckle. "For someone who didn't play for years, this was exceptionally brilliant."

"Not brilliant. I never thought you'd walk in my trap to be honest.", she replied matter-of-factly.

"Neither did I but you had a slight advantage of the situation since I've told you about my pawns and queen perspective."

He sat up and folded his arms as he watched her watching him with a mocking gaze.

"Rematch?", she questioned.

"Bet on it!" He played white this time and the next 2 games after that one. Needless to say, he lost every single one and was mentally exhausted as he finally shoved the board aside before he fell on his back, his hat dropping next to his head.

"Well Red, you said it yourself; you're nothing without your queen." He let out a frustrated laugh and inclined his head towards her.

He wasn't a king but she was definitely his queen.

Tbc... Please R&R if you want to. :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for your reviews! :)**

 **Still own nothing.**

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His mood for chess went out of the window which Lizzie used to her advantage as she teased him repeatedly with that matter. He decided that he loved these rare moments. How could he not? He was the recipient of this marvelous smile of hers. He'd do everything, if it made her happy.

He laid comfortably on the double lounge seat and was finishing his book as Lizzie's shadow appeared before him. Concealing his smile, he continued reading until he felt her warm breath hover against his cheek, whispering "Loser." into his ear. He marked the page he was currently at and rotated his head in order to look at her and _-_

 _Oh!_

Her arm leaned onto the back of the seat, right behind his neck, their faces only a breath away. He pressed his lips together into a firm line and swallowed as she came fully into his vision, revealing a black bikini she wore. He'd forgotten that he offered her to go snorkeling if she wanted to, and the equipment she held in her other hand told him that this was her intent. Tilting his head, he smiled and tried, really tried, to keep his gaze on her face instead of taking in her far too enticing body.

"Now that I got to know 'Bermudas - Red' I'd like a glimpse of 'swim trunks - Red'.", she said, her voice challenging but her eyes lit up.

As much as he enjoyed a flirtatious Lizzie and he did, this wasn't a good idea. He was old, they were bullet and knife wounds all over his body and not to forget the scars on his back. "I don't know.", he said with a shake of his head.

"Come on, Red! Don't be a killjoy. It'll be fun."

His smile faded. She was excited and wanted him with her. Pushing himself up, he squeezed her shoulder. "Give me a minute!"

The smile that nearly reached her eyes was worth it and buried some of his doubts into a corner but how would she react to his back? A confrontation was inevitable but maybe he could leave his shirt on. He put that thought aside.

Lizzie would be curious for sure.

He quickly changed into black trunks and regarded himself in the mirror. There was nothing attractive about him. The women he had encountered with were nothing compared to Lizzie. He didn't care what they thought of him. Also, he left on his undershirt most of the time so they wouldn't have to see and feel the uneven skin.

And of all people it was Lizzie who had to witness this.

He stepped outside in only his shorts and white dress shirt while she put sunblocker onto her arms and torso. This time, he shouldn't stop himself from looking since her back was turned towards him and he didn't want to stop if he was honest. Hell, he was a man and not a saint, and Lizzie was one of the most beautiful woman he'd seen in years. Her wavy hair that framed her face; marvelous, her pale skin; an aesthetical masterpiece, but the thing that did it for him were the two small points at the small of her back; he was too far gone anyway so he could at least fantasize about -

"Hey, would you give me a hand, please?", she asked casually, holding out the sunblocker which he took after a few seconds, their fingers brushing as he did. Applying some of the cream on his palms, he gulped to get rid of the heavy lump in his throat, starting at her shoulders with shy touches before moving to her spine.

"I won't break apart, you know?", she commented teasingly.

"Sorry." He applied a bit more pressure and finished spreading the sunscreen over her back meticulously. This situation as a whole was harder than he thought. He suspected that he would struggle but the reality was much, much worse. His heart raced since that morning and seeing her now didn't help either.

"There, all done!", he said as neutral as possible even though his hands trembled still at his sides.

"Thanks." She looked from his toes up his legs, over his still clothed chest and came to a stop at his eyes. To him it almost seemed as if she was appreciative of what she saw but he felt simply uncomfortable, because he had no damn clue of what was going on in her head.

"I can go alone, if you're not up for it."

Great, now she thought he didn't want to join her but he wanted this so very much. He narrowed his eyes and watched the movement of the waves as his fingers undid the lowest button of his shirt. "I'm up for it but there's something we have to talk about first."

"Oh - okay! What is it?"

His eyes fluttered shut as he opened the last button with quivering hands. "The fire, the man you said was your father on the floor -", he let the fabric fall onto the ground and turned his back to her, revealing the puckered flesh to her eyes. "The truth is it was me."

He heard her suck in a sharp breath. His hands balled into fists and he worked his jaw, collecting his demeanor. "I heard your screams and got you out of the closet you were hiding in but - someone hit me on the head and before I knew it I was lying unconscious on the ground, and I thought - I thought you were taken by your mother's people but a friend and operative of mine has taken you to Sam.", he confessed in a trembling voice.

It was still around him for minutes and he didn't dare to move, he didn't want to see her face, afraid of what he might find there. He kept his gaze on his feet instead, wishing for something to hold on as he feared to drop onto his knees at any second.

"Who did attack you?", she asked.

"I couldn't see it but I guess it was your mother. She wanted you back from your father and bring you to Russia."

"You were working for my father then?"

"Sort of -", he breathed out. "It's complicated. I can't - I wish I could tell you everything but I can't, Lizzie."

She sobbed quietly behind him, but not quiet enough for him not to hear it. "But my mother is the enemy in this story?"

"Yes.", he nodded and turned around, facing her. "I'm so sorry, Lizzie!"

He reached out to her and this time she didn't hesitate as he pulled her up on her feet and into his embrace. Her face was buried in her palms as he stroked over her back again and again. He wasn't aware of how often he told her how deeply sorry he was and that he hoped he could have protected her better. The tears which filled his eyes spilled over when she finally reciprocated and flung herself at him, their bodies pressed against each other from toes to head. "Do they hurt?"

"I don't feel anything.", he replied. "Irreparable nerve damage.", he explained.

Her fingerpads traveled over his shoulderblades to his scarred skin as if she was mapping him. Even though he couldn't feel it didn't mean it didn't affect him. The hairs on the back of his head and arms stood up while a tingling shot trough his system that made him shudder.

"This friend, the one who brought me to Sam. Who was it?"

"Leonard Caul. His involvement with the Fulcrum has endangered his life and he had to run."

"Caul?" Pulling back slightly, she looked up, her brows furrowed. "Why was Sam involved with Leonard Caul?"

"You remember Sam's file, don't you? Sam had a criminal background and he wasn't just a petty criminal but he was my CI until the day Leonard brought you to him. He gave up everything for you."

Squeezing her shoulders, he smiled fondly and brushed of a tear off her cheek. He hadn't planned on telling her all of this. Lizzie shouldn't define him on the things he did for her in the past, he wanted her to like him for what he was doing for her now. He was afraid she would put him on a pedestal, because this wasn't what he deserved.

"Red, if you'd told me that, I would have never treaded you like I did."

"You've had every right to do so. I don't think you'd have believed me when I told all of this the day we met. I wanted you to find out the truth for yourself so that you can form an unbiased opinion, and choose to work with me because you want to and not because you feel like you have to.", he clarified in a croaky tone and let go of her, kneeling down to pick up his shirt again.

When he stood, she grabbed the fabric from his grasp and laid it neatly folded over a chair. His irises followed her until her palm rested on his chest, directly over his heart. "Thank you! For telling me and what you did - for what you're still doing."

Then, she hugged him for the second time that day and he let out a breath in relief. "I'm glad to have you in my life."

If words could fill voids, he'd be healed. He pressed a kiss against her temple and breathed in her scent, a mixture of lavender and sweetness that was unmistakingly Lizzie, before they broke apart again. "Me too, sweetheart."

"So, is 'swim trunks - Red' ready to show me the reef?", she asked with finally some lightness in her voice and a shy smile at first that slowly grew, pressing her cheeks up higher until it reached her eyes which lit up.

"Yeah - he is.", he chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. She was wonderful and he realized that a day without her in it would be torturous. They were, without a doubt, extraordinary together and he prayed to a god he didn't believe in that she saw it the same way.

"I'm sure you look adorable in a snorkel mask.", she teased.

"I didn't know you were such a tease."

"Better get used to it, Red! It'll get worse."

His mind screamed 'Yes'. While he'd kill every other person for poking fun at him, he certainly would celebrate and write down each silly name she gave him, frame and hang it onto his walls.

Well, loving her made him powerless.

TBC...


	5. Chapter 5

**First of all, thanks for your reviews again. Bad news is that this Chapter is more of a filler and my next update will have to wait for some days as I am busy this week. I hope you'll like this one though. :)**

 **I own nothing.**

 **Unbeta'ed**

* * *

He loved the ocean, always had, since he was a kid to be precise and stayed at the west coast with his parents during the summer. Thereby he didn't care whether he'd go sailing or swimming; just the nearness and noises coming from the waves breaking against the cliffs calmed him. But experiencing a delightful afternoon snorkeling with Lizzie was like a cherry, no two cherries on top of the cream.

She seemed so excited as they saw various kind of animals and plants and he loved sharing his knowledge with her. It felt as if the friction that had defined their relationship was replaced with the lightness and mutual understanding that, finally after 2 years, surrounded them. As much as he enjoyed the beauty of of the oceans life he much rather studied Lizzie's reaction; how her eyes would widen when she saw something she particularly liked and, of course, how she would laugh at him since he looked absolutely ridiculous.

Those were her words, not his.

There was just one problem left which he must address sooner, or later. He couldn't get the image of her drawing out of his mind. He should have waited until she came to him and not invaded her privacy like he did and he was afraid that she would be angry at him although he would understand it. He always understood her anger but things were finally smooth between them and this revelation would throw them two steps back.

It was an ugly dance.

As they arrived back on his boat, he grabbed a towel, wrapping it around her with a lazy smile. "I hope your impression of 'swim trunks - Red' didn't disappoint."

"He's as adorable as a baby seal."

"Weird compliment."

"You like weirdness.", she winked as she fixed the towel and straightened her damp hair.

"True.", he agreed with a nod, taking another towel and drying himself off before throwing it over his shoulder. Peeking at his watch, he sighted in distress that another day was almost over. Time ran by and he would have liked more with her. "I can make us dinner.", he offered. "I'm gonna freshen up first and cook something for us while you could enjoy yourself in the whirlpool."

"I cook and you do whatever you want."

Pursing his lips, he looked past her. "From what I've heard, you're a terrible chef. Are you sure you don't want to punish me?", he asked mockingly, inclining his head before biting down on his lip to prevent to burst out laughing at her annoyed expression.

She elbowed him in his ribs, eliciting a grunt that turned into a breathy laugh as she went past him, mumbling some incoherent words. He grabbed his shirt from earlier on and headed for a shower. He wondered what she was about to cook. Well, partly wondering and also slightly afraid. He was hungry and picky when it came to food.

He showered quickly, and picked blue denims and his white button down to wear as he heard Lizzie cursing from kitchen. He was told to do what he wanted so he could surely help her as well. Creeping out of his room, the noises grew louder, including the clattering of dishes and not to forget more curses. He sneaked around the corner and watched her for a while.

She was cutting tomatoes while a pot stewed on the stove. Her hair was wound back into a ponytail and she changed into dark jeans and a comfortable shirt. It was unusual and yet so normal to see her like this except for the fact that she was about to burn down his kitchen. He crossed his arms, leaning against the doorframe and keeping an eye on her.

Her narrowed eyes fled over her tablet, her brows creasing and the wrinkles onto her forehead deepening further as she inaudibly mouthed what she was reading. He filed the image of an irritated Lizzie away as his favorite up to date. Pushing himself up while snorting quietly, he revealed his presence as he rounded the corner. "You need to work on your organization. You're far too chaotic."

Her head shot up, showing off her flushed cheeks. "Yeah, or you're simply an organized freak.", she replied and went back to her task, ignoring him.

Apparently, she was really annoyed by him. He stepped behind her and peeked over her shoulder, giving him a glimpse of a lasagna recipe. "May I help you?", he asked gently.

"No."

Still annoyed. Women.

"Please?", he said, stretching the word, slowly tilting his head and torso further until he was nearly on eye level with her which obviously did the trick since she fought to bottle up a smile and failed in doing so.

"Go away!", she smiled and leaned against him in order to get him out of her personal space. When he stood up straight again, she handed him a spoonful of sauce.

He sniffed on it before he tried her creation, his eyes settled on hers as she did the same. His nerves twitched at the taste. His mouth was on fire but he didn't want to spit it out either. It tasted completely different from what he was used to. Actually, he tasted nothing; it was too spicy. His vision blurred after he swallowed and he couldn't suppress the gasp anymore. "I told you I'd never lie to you and I'm not gonna start now but this is -"

"Disgusting.", she finished, the lines of her face scrunched.

"Well, I wouldn't say it like that. It was an interesting culinary experiment."

Opening the trashcan, she emptied the pot. "Yeah, literally trash."

"Probably the best day to start my diet.", he shrugged and helped her cleaning up.

"You're on a diet?"

"I've let myself go recently." He tapped his belly and then reached for the fruit bowl, grabbing an orange, peeling it off. "Unlike yours, my genes don't provide me with the opportunity to eat without getting fat."

"Did you just charm me and insult yourself?"

"Our genes."

"Whatever, but fat you're not."

"Are you charming me?", he asked with a sideglance, clearly amused.

"Does it work?"

"Maybe." He held out an orange piece, his brows rising when she leaned forward, taking the fruit with her mouth and her lips brushing his fingertips. She didn't know how infectious she was to him; her body language told him that much. Certainly, she was comfortable around him but there was nothing that indicated anything else.

There were no signs of attraction, no longing glances or touches except for the hug she'd given him this afternoon but that all that was on friendly terms. He would not make the first step if there even was a first step to make.

Why did he even bother?

He rubbed his palms and went to the fridge. "Well, dinner?"

"No, thanks. My mood for that went out the window.", she stated.

"Are you sure? I can easily get us something ready. A roast beef sandwich perhaps? High on proteins and vital for your -"

"Red.", she interrupted. "Don't get me wrong, you've been great company today but I think I'll go to bed early."

He shut the fridge and nodded. Her words left a warmth inside him; he was great company and she enjoyed herself with him. She had never told him so before so it was probably the first time Lizzie felt so, or it was simply the first time she revealed that. Either way, this made him incredibly happy, because it was step in the right direction even though he didn't know where it would lead them.

She collected her belongings, including the book with all her drawings. He gripped the counter top and clenched his jaw. He had to make a decision very quickly. He had to tell her, so much was clear, the question was whether he would do it now, or tomorrow.

Closing his eyes, he breathed in and out for two more times in order to regular his racing heart. He was anxious of her; of her reaction. He could read people but there was no one as unpredictable as Lizzie.

"Lizzie, wait please!", he said. "There's something I have to tell you."

When she turned and looked at him with expectation and yet neutral, he thought for a second to let it slip until he reminded himself that she deserved honesty.

"Yesterday, when you went to bed you forgot your pad and I found it.", he started before letting out a quiet huff. "I was worried about you - I am worried about you still and I - I looked.", he confessed, waiting for a reaction but she just stood there and did nothing. There were no tears but there wasn't anger either.

"I saw only the first page and I know I shouldn't have done it in the first place but I feel as if my capture by Yabaari was an indicator to visit your psychiatrist again so I just want to apologize for snooping and tell you that we might have to talk about that matter."

He swallowed and shifted his weight from one feet to the other, feeling the nerve under his eye twitch uncontrollably while he waited. God, he hated waiting, especially for answers. He had no idea how Lizzie managed to live like that.

"Was this all?", she asked in a tired voice.

"Yes, I know you must be angry but you need to know that I only want to help you."

"Listen Red, I just had the most wonderful day in months and I'll be honest with you, I don't wanna talk about it right now; I don't even wanna think about it. I appreciate your honesty and I'm glad you told me but I can't have this conversation now, because I don't want to ruin this day for both of us."

He raised his chin as he listened and nodded in approval. He was a little taken aback since this was new. Under different terms, she would have yelled and left but she was still there. "Until tomorrow then."

"Yes. Tomorrow."

Two steps forward, one step back.

She didn't smile like the night before when she went to bed but it could have been a lot worse. He grabbed a bottle of scotch and retired to his bedroom after he heard her door click shut. It was a good day, a very good day but he was afraid that it might have been the only one.

Tbc...


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm glad you're interested in this story. This chapter was terrible to write but I hope you'll like it.**

 **Disclaimer: I still don't own anything.**

It was an unsettling feeling the next morning. He didn't know what was about to happen, how her mood would be. Would she be angrier than the night before? His original plan was to leave the bay and for a cruise but as he looked out the windows all he saw was fog and rain.

How fitting.

As he sat in an armchair he thought when the last time was they planned a discussion. They never did except for the Tom Keen boat fiasco. Other than that they never spoke about issues and ignored them completely. He stared at the wall, his eyes empty until her scent teased his nostrils.

Lizzie.

Pretending he didn't notice her, he continued his staring but he felt her gaze lingering upon him. His head throbbed in synch with the rain that constantly hit the top of the boat, an aftermath of a glass too much scotch. He crossed one leg over the other and watched waterdrops running down the windows as she shuffled behind him.

"Good morning.", she announced reservedly.

"Morning." He flickered a short glance over his shoulder, his mouth transforming into an awkward grimace as he saw how she looked. Her cheeks were pale, the lines under her eyes dark from lack of sleep. Sighting in reverence, he let his chin drop and fought the urge to start the conversation they needed to have.

It was his fault that she was exhausted; it was his fault that she was seeing a psychiatrist in the past, and so was her husband. She may told him that he can't blame himself for everything bad in her life but he carried a lot of weight onto his shoulders.

He sunk down farther into the cushions and stretched out his legs as Lizzie sat down on the sofa with her coffee mug safely between her palms. She was watching him closely, her eyes dancing back and forth between her cup and his face while occasionally sipping her coffee.

He suddenly wanted to leave; not just the room but also this boat. He wasn't good at confrontations, even worse when they were on an emotional basis. Fights with his wife were rare and if they happened, they were resolved in the bedroom.

This certainly didn't apply to this kind of situation.

If he could though he would show her just how much she meant to him. It was wrong to love her but it felt so right. He felt right after doing so many things wrong. His mind tried to put his feelings into words last night and he realized that his love did not bloom like a flower in spring. No, it was a most dangerous feeling, more like the seething of lava beneath the surface of a volcano that erupted full force at some point and destroyed everything around him, including her.

A spectacular but ultimately deadly natural phenomenon.

He rose from his seat and reached for her empty cup to cleanse it in the sink, noticing how she closed her eyes when he left her side. Her fingertips tapped nervously against the cover of the pad in her lap before putting it aside in order to pull up her knees which were now resting under her chin. Tilting her head, she rested her cheek against her kneecaps. "I laid awake last night, thinking about how I'm supposed to feel. I should be angry."

He looked up, alerted and concerned as he heard the tremor in her voice. He put the cup back in the shelf and plodded over to his previous spot, seating himself next to her, his fingers interlaced on his thighs as he shifted his upper body forwards and waiting for her to go on.

"I am angry ,though not that you've been so presumptuous but about the fact that you've pressed me to have this discussion with you now. You've done worse in the past and I believe I'm used to you snooping around in my private life.", she confessed, flinging her arms around her ankles.

Her defensive posture didn't go by unnoticed. He worked his jaw, contemplating a response but she was correct in everything she said. Sadly, he had done worse. He was constricting her freedom. He wanted the best for her and brought her the worst.

"After the King auction I had this ongoing nightmare. You've told me to leave you. I did and Yabaari took you, held the gun to your head. I ran back, tried to save you but sometimes -", she sniffed, pressing her lips together as tears were about to spill over. Her words felt like bullets entering his body and he was bleeding.

"Sometimes I didn't make it in time and I was standing in a pool of blood. You were lying on the ground and there was nothing I could do.", she choked. "And then there have been times where I've made it in time but then you'd leave after I told you that I care."

His brows shot up in shock. He would never, _ever_ leave her, except when she'd ask for it of course. His body was stiff and it took him awhile until his muscles relaxed enough to unclasp his hands. He hesitantly reached for her hand on the armrest and covered the back with his palm. "But you did make it in time and I am still here and I will stay as long as you want me in your life."

"You can't even look me in the eye when you say that?", she laughed humorlessly.

Because he was focused on their hands. His fingers sneaked around so that he could entwine their fingers which he did, squeezing them in comfort as his eyes moved up to meet hers before he repeated with impact, "I will never leave you, Elizabeth! I should as soon as we've cleared your name but I won't - can't."

"Why should you leave?" She just looked at him as if this was the most disturbing idea he'd ever phrased aloud.

His features softened a little. "You deserve a chance for a better life. I want you to live out your fantasy but that cannot happen with me close by."

"I don't think I can have that in a foreseeable time but that is not your fault. I need you to understand that!", she pressed and pulled at his hand.

He understood and moved to the spot beside her. Their hands rested on her thigh and Lizzie didn't seem too eager to let go of him, yet. All this wasn't as bad as he'd anticipated. It was a mature conversation with touching as a bonus. Kind of a ridiculous thought but it thrilled him. "I will try.", he said, smiling mirthlessly.

She let loose of him, grasping for the book beside them and laid it on her lap, her palms safely placed upon the cover as she searched out his eyes, breathing out deeply. "I want to show you something."

She moved closer, her left arm stretching out at the back of the furniture. Her kneecaps pressed against his thighs as she flipped through the pages until she stopped and gave it to him.

The corners of his mouth turned upwards, his head fondly inclined to the side as he watched the image of Lizzie and him under a sky full of stars outside the shipping container. It was his favorite memory of them together. It was a perfect night; dinner, desert, stargazing and Lizzie. She poked his shoulder when he didn't say anything but he couldn't. His throat was dry as if he'd run a marathon, and he just wanted to indulge in the remembrance of his moment.

"Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you?", she asked.

He had no idea. If she'd say that he was his way home he will cry. That happened in one of his dreams. He shrugged his shoulders helplessly. "I'm not good at reading subtext."

"What do you think I'm trying to tell you?"

Couldn't she just say it? Tearing his eyes from the paper, he regarded her, noticing the saddened spark in her eyes at his lack of response. "I honestly don't know.", he sighted and ran his thumb over his forehead.

"Not everything we go through together is bad. There are moments I've enjoyed, the one you've just seen is my favorite; not because of what you said to me but you showed me a side of you I haven't known before. I like this side. That's mainly the reason I wanted to go sailing with you.", she stressed.

A quiet puff of air escaped him, his eyes narrowing a bit as his lips turned upwards into a snug smile. It wasn't as extravagant as in his dreams but the reality was so much better and her words felt like honey running down his throat. She liked him for who he is and not his money, or his fancy houses. It had been ages since a woman was drawn to him, because of him. But hell, he needed to say something. Anything, he just had to stop staring and smiling like an idiot.

"God Red, you can be sweet at times.", she said with a smirk."It's okay if you don't say anything, I'm kind of used to your secrecy."

He shook his head to either side and released a hoarse chuckle. "I want to say something it's just - ", he trailed off, biting his lips as he sorted out the mess in his brain. "The people I encounter in my line of work aren't interested in me; they are interested in my money. I guess I'm not used to people who simply like me for who I am anymore since I barely know myself. I fear that, one day, your perspective of me may changes due to a detail that you will not be ready to hear, or understand because another part is missing.", he said feebly.

"I've given up on thinking about the future of our relationship. It's useless and I don't want to spend each day worrying about what else you could have possibly done. You told me I could trust you and you've proven that I can. I like you and I enjoy your company. Deal with that!", she re-quoted part of another statement from another time, making him smile slightly.

"I will try.", he said for the second time but in a soothing voice, turning his upper body so that she had his full attention, pressing his palms into the cushions and as he saw her expression of understanding he was overcome with the desire to kiss her.

He had thoughts about kissing her before but this was different; it was more like a pull, created by the irresistible feminine and sweet scent, and the recent spark in her eyes when she looked at him with a mixture of adoration and sympathy. These little details lit a flame inside him and all this flames turned into a bonfire.

His gaze wandered from her eyes to her lips and up again, heightening his longing to touch her, taste her. Balling his hands into fists, he struggled to resist the urge to sneak his arm around her neck, and pulling her to him. As if reading his mind her fingertips trailed shyly up his arm, leaving goosebumps along their way that made him close his eyes to relish in the feeling her movements awoke.

The wall around him crackled and while he usually got a kick out of the anticipation right before a kiss he disliked the fast pounding of his heart and the sweat on his palms which almost caused him to lose his grip. He could feel her breath on his face and the wish to close the distance and meet her lips became unbearable.

Tilting his head and leaning forward, he was about to finally kiss the woman he desired for months.

TBC... anxiously waiting for reviews.

PS: sorry for the cliffy.


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks for your lovely reviews. I hope you had a merry Christmas and enjoyed the holidays.**

 **This chapter is slightly longer and there's fluff ahead. Hope you like it.**

 **I own nothing.**

* * *

There was a reason he disliked technology. Nowadays people were always accountable and therefore making it possible to track others down or, as this was the case, interrupt certain scenes.

He poured a glass of water at the sink, breathing deeply in order to control his rage. Just minutes before, he nearly kissed Lizzie; a vibrating and thrilling shudder ran still through his system, although the shudder was not the only thing that vibrated. Shortly before their lips connected for the first time his phone started buzzing in his pocket, breaking the tension between them immediately. Even worse was 'who' was interrupting them.

 _Tom Keen_

As if he didn't have enough reasons to hate him by now. It was sort of ludicrous that each and every time they grew closer Tom would take it away from him. Emptying the water, he watched her talking to her ex husband, satisfied that she seemed to be just as annoyed by his intrusion as he was. In fact, when they broke apart, he could swear she'd groaned quietly. This was the best case scenario or it happened only in his imagination and it was the wind outside.

She stood by the window, the phone squeezed between her ear and shoulder as she listened and occasionally replied with short hums until she let out an irritated huff. He was terrified that he would tell her another lie about him but shoved the possibility back as she had made it clear that she trusted him.

Everything would be okay; just breath, he tried to calm himself.

Still on the phone, she strode past him but not without giving his chest a reassuring pad before she left the room. When she was done, he would throw out this phone as well. He opened the fridge and grabbed ingredients in order to prepare a sandwich. She was way too long on the phone for his liking. He muttered his displeasure quietly as he whirled around at the counter, not noticing that Lizzie was watching him, clearly amused about his distress. As he felt her chest pressing firmly against his back he stiffened first, stopping in his actions and closing his eyes as her delicate fingers kneaded the sore muscles on his shoulder. He let out a pleased growl when she found a particular good spot and immediately did it again when she whispered over his shoulder, "Looks delicious.", she said, using one hand to steady herself while the other grabbed the sandwich from the plate.

He turned and crossed his arms. "What did he want?", he tried to ask nonchalantly but even he did notice the edge in his voice.

She quirked a brow and smirked knowingly, covering her mouth with her palm as she swallowed. "He was worried because he couldn't reach out to me." She took another bite and shrugged. "I told him I'm fine and he started his 'Reddington isn't good for you' talk but I shut him off. He won't bother us again."

He huffed. "I wouldn't be so sure about that."

"Oh, but I am." She smiled victoriously, offering him a piece of his sandwich. "I turned off your phone so unless he'd swim here we are definitely alone.", she said before adding. "And also he can't swim."

"Arm floats?", he replied sarcastically, delightfully watching her smile brighten and its turning into a laugh that tugged at his heart. He would never tire of this sound.

"Funny image but I'd suggest we stop talking about Tom and think of something to get through this awful weather. Any ideas?"

He snapped the sandwich off her hands first and shrugged. "We could watch a movie or relax in the whirlpool.", he said and added a cheeky smirk that made her snort.

"As lovely as the whirlpool sounds, I prefer a movie in this weather."

He cleaned his hands, hiding his slight disappointment behind a upwards quirk of his lips. "As you wish. Dembe recommended "Back to the Future" since I've never watched any of those movies but if you want to watch something else, I'd be more than okay with that."

"Oh no, we absolutely watch Back to the future. I can't believe you missed those." She rummaged through his cupboards and grabbed some popcorn and pretzels.

"I'm not much into movies.", he expressed with a shrug. "I find literature to be more interesting for ones imagination. If you compare movies to their previous published books I always found books better and much more detailed than movies could ever be."

"Yes but you can't enjoy a good book in company unless you read it to them and that's distressing; particularly when the company is - very charming and good to look at.", she said sultry.

He chuckled and suddenly felt light headed. Their eyes lingered on one another as he sorted out the mess in his head. "Well, that makes watching a movie pointless if you rather watch the person you're watching the movie with.", he replied, smiling proudly because of his intelligent reply.

"But staring at each other for 90 minutes is beyond awkward." She padded over to the living area and sat down on the sofa, bending her knees and placing the popcorn on the furniture next to her thighs. Red started the DVD and joined her before reaching for a pretzel and munching on it as the movie began. If he was honest he would prefer to watch her over the movie and he wanted to gather the courage to move closer and laying his arm around her to pull her close. Hell, he'd never been a shy man but she made him question his every move.

Time went on and so did the movie but his gaze was fixed on her and her only, admiring how her eyelashes framed her eyes, the way her cheeks rose and created those admirable laughter lines and dimples when she laughed. These little things made his days bearable and he didn't want these moments to end; in fact he craved more. Crossing his legs and stretching out his arm onto the back of the couch, he watched the film, hoping to hide his nervousness.

"Only because of this movie I came to love Chuck Berry.", she commented.

"He's certainly a great musician. My vinyl collection includes a few of his albums."

She averted her gaze from the screen to look at him, the corners of her mouth lifting upwards. "What is it?", he asked, mirroring her gaze with the usual tilt of his head, his fingers tapping on the back of the couch.

Shuffling closer and resting her head on his shoulder, she grasped his arm from the sofa and placed it around her waist before flinging hers around his belly. "Nothing, I'm just pleased to have found something we have in common.", she said, nudging the tip of her nose briefly against his neck.

His eyes fluttered closed as he felt her warm breath tickling his skin. He momentarily forgot about Tom's earlier call and relished the moment with her in his arms. His thumb traced her ribcage gently and he released a soft chuckle. "Who knows; maybe we have even more in common. Time will tell.", he replied and leaned his cheek against the top of her head, breathing in her intoxicating scent.

If home had a scent, it would be the faint smell of lavender.

"Do we have time?", she asked cautiously, tugging gently at his shirt as she did.

"I hope we do have time, though I'm sure that it'll never be enough for me. Each day could be my last so I tend to enjoy every second with you."

"I don't like it when you talk like that." She raised her head, forcing him to lift his as well. He chewed his cheek and shook his head. His life was dangerous and she knew that but seeing how frightening the thought must be for her was nearly his undoing. Trying to distract her, he stood up and held out his hand. "Have I told you the story about how I learned to dance Salsa?", he asked with a soft smile.

Accepting his offered hand, he pulled her up and against him. "Red, you don't have to do this." Of course she sensed that he wanted to cheer her up but he had enough of worrying. He wanted to create only good memories; memories she could perpetuate in her book.

"I know but I feel like dancing.", he winked.

"Our last dance together is not one of my fondest memories."

"We'll make it one.", he assured, letting his hand slip off of hers and muted the movie before going over to his vinyls, searching for a particular one and placing it carefully in the player. He was a detail orientated man and a perfectionist in every aspect, especially when it came to Lizzie and her desires. Just this time it was about his own wish. The record crackled under the needle as he turned back, seeking out her eyes and tilting his head as he slowly but determinedly moved towards her. Lizzie seemed out of place, standing almost shyly in the middle of the room between the TV and couch. He slid his arm around her waist and entwined their hands as the song started to play.

 _I know you've been hurt by someone else  
_

 _I can tell by the way you carry yourself_

 _But if you let me, here's what I'll do_

 _I'll take care of you_

Apprehensive at first, they slowly swayed to the music with a little distance between them. As the song progressed their feet moved in synch and he felt his heartbeat relax, the previous nervousness floating away as the lyrics invaded their ears. This song was among his favorites and it was meant for them, and by the look in her eyes he could tell that she thought the same since she stepped closer into his personal space, their bodies almost touching. A small smile formed on his lips while his palm rested on the small of her back. Their eyes were locked and never left contact. She was perfect and a truly irresistible woman, and he considered himself immensely lucky to share such a beautiful moment with her.

 _I, I've loved and lost, the same as you_

 _So you see, I know just what you've been through_

 _But if you'll let me, here's what I'll do_

 _Oh, I just got to take care of you_

They moved and turned elegantly but there was a fluttering feeling in his stomach that made him uneasy. He couldn't say whether it was the reason that he fell in love with the one woman he never dared to touch or the way her breath quickened as if she was uncertain about how to proceed. All he knew and felt was that the warmth between them grew stronger with every second and his heartbeat sped up as an effect of the shift of the atmosphere around them. Her arm sneaked fully around his neck, her nails delicately scratching the skin there.

 _You won't ever have to worry_

 _You won't ever have to cry_

 _For I'll be there beside you_

 _To dry your weeping eyes_

"You have to teach me Salsa; you're a wonderful dancer, Red.", she admitted in a breath and let go of their locked hands to wound hers also behind his neck.

He held onto her waist and barely moved anymore except for the little side steps and truth to be told he didn't want it to end. "You're the perfect partner.", he remarked solemnly and imagined Lizzie and him dancing a Latin American dance. It would involve so much contact that just thinking about it nearly let his insides burn.

If she was taken aback by his statement she didn't show it; instead he saw willingness and awe in her gaze. The touch of her fingertips felt electrical and blew new life into his old soul but the close contact also sucked the air out of his lungs. His hands met behind her back and he took a step forward before pulling her completely to him, humming satisfied at her her surprised gasp when their bodies collided. He was sure that she now lived in only this moment with him.

 _So darling, tell me that you'll be true_

 _For there is no doubt in my mind, I know what I want to do_

 _And just as sure as one and one is two_

 _Oh, you know I'll take care of you_

And in this instant he decided to let go of his worries and grief that normally surrounded him like a dark cloud. She was his burning sun which always succeeded to light him up again, to feel the warmth and he wished he could make her feel the same. He wanted to take away her pain and sorrow, bury it together so deep that she would never be sad again. His world resolved around around her and only her even if it felt selfish at times. He wasn't perfect for her but he was addicted and so exhausted of fighting his inner battle.

 _I'll take care of you_

 _I'll take care of you_

He squeezed her hips after the song ended and they went up her back to her flushed cheeks. She closed her eyes before leaning into his touch, his thumbs stroking softly over her smooth skin. A smile adorned her face as she pushed herself up by leaning more weight onto his shoulders. "When I was a little girl I imagined my first kiss while dancing in the moonlight. I thought it would be just perfect to sway to the music with the man I love and let our minds become one but ever since I know you you've proven me wrong in so many things I believed in. I am dancing with you in the middle of the day; it's raining cats and dogs; I don't wear a dress and you're not in a suit but all I can think of is that the two of us have created an almost perfect moment."

His breath caught in his throat as she finished her story. Swallowing thickly, he watched her through half lidded eyes, seeing how she worried her lip before she moved closer. He was not anxious anymore; he felt at ease because she felt safe enough around him for once and revealed something about her. "Make it perfect, Red, and kiss me!", she breathed against his mouth.

A low groan escaped him before he bent his head and closed his lips over hers. Her nails caressed his short hair as she tilted her head in order to deepen the kiss. He was a man of many words but when he got the first taste of her all coherent thoughts left his already dizzy mind. Her mellow lips tasted sweet like chocolate; simply intoxicating. The tip of her tongue traced along his bottom lip, granting access which he happily gave, both moaning breathlessly as their tongues touched for the first time and languidly circled each others. She was his match he realized, his challenge, a mountain he climbed for years and he didn't arrived at the top, yet. He wanted more, not just physically but emotionally. He wanted to know each and every fantasy until the tiniest detail and fulfill them all.

She unhurried explored his mouth while her hands roamed all over his back, tugging at the fabric of his shirt but this wasn't how he wanted their first time to happen as beautiful and perfect as it was. She had asked for a kiss and not more and he dreamed of a special and unique first time with her. Pulling back slowly, she nipped on his lip, causing his hips to jerk forward in response. They gasped and pressed their foreheads together. "Wow, sorry, I got a little carried away.", she panted, smiling.

He squeezed her hips and chuckled softly. "Don't be but I don't want to rush this; not with you."

"You're right.", she replied and stole another kiss from him. "I remember you telling me about the whirlpool, so...? She lifted her brow and smirked coyly.

"And the movie?", he reminded her, hoping that she would agree to finish it first because he needed time to cool down from their most recent encounter. Thinking about Lizzie and him in a jacuzzi absolutely didn't help.

"Okay." They went back to the couch. Red laid onto the furniture and let Lizzie climb in between his legs, her back pressed against his chest as he safely flung his arms around her.

This was home.

Tbc...


End file.
